The Evergreen Tree

Content note: anxiety, depression, mention of blades

Sometimes Jenny got very angry and mad
At the world and the sky and the powers that be
And words sharp as knives would pop up in her head
She longed to fight back with all of her might
But the foe who had hurt her was nowhere in sight
So she spoke not, but wept silently

Year after year Jenny tried to be civil
Not to lash out in pain at whoever was near
Year after year she would feel her will shrivel
Not much longer would she be able to hide
All the daggers and knives she had hidden inside
One day they’d come out, she did fear

Then Jenny one day heard the tale of a valley
In which a great tree was said to stand tall
And there she could bring all the words from her belly
To give to the tree, so they’d leave her alone
And for each word a new leaf the tree would now own
A new leaf that never would fall

So she packed a few things and she went on her way
To find the great tree that would now set her free
Where all the sharp words she could finally say
Without hurting those who had stood by her side
Hoping so hard that the tales had not lied
She would cross over mountain and sea

It did not take long, to Jenny’s surprise
Until she did feel as if pulled to a place
There was just one more valley and just one more rise
A few little steps, a leap and a bound
And Jenny knew then that indeed she had found
The tree full of healing and grace

She stretched out her hand, touched it to the wood
The bark felt so warm and so very old
At once she felt rooted right there where she stood
A voice whispered gently inside of her head
It asked for the words that she never had said
Jenny felt how they now fought her hold

What would those words do if she let them out?
Would their edges so sharp cut into the tree?
And so Jenny stayed there all silent, in doubt.
The voice filled her up with a silence so bright
That Jenny felt safe, and happy and light
From her haven now Jenny could see

She held her barbs back out of love for her friends
Just like she was holding the same barbs back here
She cut herself, holding the blades in her hands
If they knew that for them she hurt and she bled
They would hurt just as much as if she had said
The sharp words to them, loud and clear

The sharp words that Jenny had thought she would say
Were dulled by the strength of that newly-found voice
And something else also had changed on that day
Jenny felt anger and fear still and pain
But when she came back from her journey again
She shared those as well as her joys

Love goes both ways, and so, too, does the pain
And no one can choose to share just one part
Jenny never forgot from that day on again
That pain you share early does not, in fact, grow
Until all the edges are starting to show
And she learned how to open her heart

Did she struggle and fail still from time to time?
I would be surprised if she truly had not
But if Jenny’s friends were the same sort as mine
I’m sure that hey helped her each step of the way
And the strong voice within her now knows how to say
Be proud of how far you have got!